Designing a sanctuary for the woman you're becoming

A sanctuary is not a Pinterest board. It's the way the morning light falls on your kitchen table. It's the floor that feels right under bare feet. It's the corner you walk to without thinking when you need a minute.

When we restored our 200-year-old cortijo in the Sierra Bermeja, the temptation was to make it look like the magazines: cool whites, polished concrete, sharp lines. We did the opposite. We kept the lime-washed walls in their original honey tone. We laid handmade terracotta tiles that will only get more beautiful with time. We chose linen — heavy, undyed, slightly imperfect — for every curtain.

Three principles that have served me well: (1) Choose materials that age. Stone, wood, lime, linen, terracotta. They forgive you. Plastic and laminate do not. (2) Light is your most important design element. Open every window you can. Add lamps at three different heights in every room. (3) Buy slowly. A house furnished in a weekend feels like a hotel. A house furnished over two years feels like home.

And one last thing: design for the woman you're becoming, not the one you were when you bought the house. Leave room for her.